I have been struggling with how to write this post because this is one of the main topics I wanted to discuss when I started this blog. I think the reason it is so difficult for me is because there are so many different forms of judgment. So where do I even begin? Do I start with how moms judge other moms, or how women judge other women in general, or how we judge each other based on material items or how we judge people that are different than us?
I will be going much more in-depth and sharing my own experiences with each of these categories but for now I just want to talk with you about judgment in general.
As I started my journey towards rediscovering my faith I realized that God made all of us exactly as He wanted us. So while I am judging someone for who they are I am telling God he was wrong. Who am I to tell God he was wrong? I have been working really hard to find the good in everyone but there are times that I still slip up but I just have to remind myself that that person is God’s creation and if He can see the good in them then so can I.
My grandmother was the epitome of a true Christian. She never once judged anyone and was always willing to help someone out. It didn’t matter what your story was; if she could help you in any way she would. I strive to be just like her but I have a very long road ahead of me to live up to her.
***Note: I don’t want this blog to be about me pushing religion on you because I think that is part of what pushed me away from my faith in the first place. Regardless, of your religion I think we can all benefit from less judgment in the world.
One of the biggest issues that I have dealt with first-hand is what I call “mom judging”, when moms judge other moms. We are judged for spanking or not spanking our kids. We are judged for what we feed or don’t feed our kids. We are judged for what medications/vaccinations we do or don’t give our kids. Notice a theme here…no matter what we do we are judged. There is always going to be someone who does not agree with how you raise your kids and, honestly, that is okay. What is not okay is judging or ridiculing that person for being different. You don’t know their story or their reasons for doing what they do.
How about how women judge other women based on appearance? I’m not saying women don’t judge men and men don’t judge other men but we all know women are hardest on other women. If you aren’t skinny enough, pretty enough or dressed a certain way then you aren’t good enough. You may look at another woman who is slightly overweight or considered obese and ask yourself, “How did she let herself get that way?” Again you don’t know their story and what does your appearance have to do with your personality or your abilities? Just because someone wasn’t blessed with good genes doesn’t make them any less of a person. Maybe that women who doesn’t care to wear make-up or isn’t up on the latest fashion trends is going to cure cancer (I know drastic…but it could happen!) or maybe she is just really fun to be around and makes you laugh every time you are around her. Her outward appearance has nothing to do with either of those. But if you pass judgment based on how she looks and keep walking you have missed out on having a great person in your life.
A big issue we have in this country is the “bigger is better” mentality which kind of goes along with judging based on appearance. We measure a person’s worth based on material possessions. If the other parent at school doesn’t have a big, beautifully decorated house they aren’t worth your time. You are embarrassed by your friend’s beat-up, old car. The person sitting next to you at the coffee shop isn’t wearing designer clothes or doesn’t have the latest technology. Or simply thinking you have more to offer than the stranger you passed on the street because you spent more money than they did. You are judging someone based purely on material possessions. How does this have anything to do with what they have to share with the world? As I keep saying; you don’t know their story.
Give someone the benefit of the doubt and get to know them and their story so you can better understand them. You never know; you might end up with a great, new friendship. Everyone has something to offer!
Questions for you (leave your answers in the comments):
- Have you ever been judged? If so, how?
- Have you ever wrongly judged someone else? Be honest…no judgment here!
- Do you wish you would have gotten to know someone better?