This post is not what I expected it to be. I started with the idea for a post about “mom judging” which then turned into a post about judgment in general and now it is about living in the present. But really I think it all goes hand-in-hand, at least for me. So here it goes.
I recently read a book titled, Present Over Perfect. I knew as soon as I saw the title I needed to read this book and I was so right! I am a self-proclaimed perfectionist and I was so worried about how others perceived me that I was missing out on life. I worry about things I’ve said or done in the past and I constantly worry about the future. I worry about what people will think of me if I don’t have a huge house or expensive cars or bigger and better everything! I worry that I’m never enough; that I don’t push hard enough and get everything done. I worry that I’m not the perfect mom because I don’t make awesome home-cooked meals, or DIY everything or take them on amazing trips around the world. And on top of all of that I worry about our finances and saving for the future.
This book has really helped me to realize that none of that matters. What matters is the right here and now; the time I have with my kids while they are still young and still want to spend time with me. They don’t care what house we have or what car we drive or how many trips we’ve taken. All they care about is love and attention and the time we spend together.
Now, I do realize I have to worry about our financial future in a sense but I was so focused on it and so worried about it that I wasn’t spending any money. I was missing out on a lot of fun opportunities with my family because I wouldn’t spend $20 here and there. What is the point in getting to the future with a bank account full of money if you didn’t enjoy life? I am learning to have faith in God that he will guide me and help me to make the right decisions for my future. If I can have that faith and put my future in His hands then it takes the pressure off of me. I can live my life!
I have to note that this is still a learning process for me and sometimes I forget to have complete faith. Even as I was trying to get a picture for this post I couldn’t get one that I felt was PERFECT enough. While I was wasting time trying to get the perfect picture I missed out on time I could have been spending with my family. So it isn’t always going to be easy but I am learning and I’m getting my life back.
So please if you can just do one thing today; stop and think about where you are living your life. Not physically but mentally. Are you living in the present or are you like I was constantly worrying about the past and the future so much that I missed the present (the good part)?