This blog is all part of my journey to finding myself. I love getting to express myself and hopefully I can help others. I have this extremely strong desire to help others but I haven’t figured out where to focus that energy just yet. I’m hoping as I continue on my journey and discover more about myself I will figure out what I’m meant to do.
I’m on a journey to find myself because I completely lost myself in being a mother and a wife. I was so busy taking care of everyone that I forgot to take care of myself. Actually, by taking care of the family I essentially hurt my marriage. I know that sounds weird but it is so true. Even though I was playing the role of wife I wasn’t being present in our marriage. I didn’t know how to be present for my husband because I couldn’t be present for myself. I was just going through the motions of what I thought I was supposed to do. I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t doing anything for myself.
I got so caught up in being the “perfect” mom and wife that I lost myself. I was no longer Dana, I was mom and wife. All I did was take care of my family. I wasn’t a happy person and I know it can be hard to be around someone who is never happy.
The hubs used to be in a golf league at his old job and he does various other activities outside of the house. I had nothing. All I did was work, run errands, pick up the kids, cook dinner and clean the house. Now I’m slowly finding things that are more me. I recently bought a kayak and have been out a few times with my dad. That’s made me realize that I love the outdoors so I’ve been trying to find other ways to get outside, even if it means just sitting on the front porch or taking the dogs for a walk.
I also love to work out and be active in general but I’m struggling to find the time and my health sometimes gets in the way. A majority of my day is spent behind a desk which I’m not thrilled about but kind of hard to avoid. My perfect job would be something physical where I could help others and be outside.
I started out strong with this part of my journey then I got busy being a mom and wife again and just got discouraged. I need to find ways to connect with other people and push for more “me” time. I don’t have much of a connection with anyone at work and the only other people I really ever spend time with are my husband and kids. It’s not that I don’t enjoy spending time with them but I also need a break every once in a while. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
I have tried a couple of Meetup groups but haven’t found what I’m looking for. How hard is to find a group of young moms who want a break from their kids!? If anyone has any suggestions, let me know.
So just know if you feel like I do, you are not alone. I know this may sound harsh but if you feel like you are starting to resent your kids or family, maybe it’s time to give yourself a break. And if anyone out there has gone through this and made it to the other side, please share your story.
Questions for you:
- How do you make time for yourself?
- What do you love to do?
- How do you connect with other people?