I have to preface this post by mentioning a blog I have been reading for a little while now called Lovely Little Things, which is written by an amazing and talented woman named Jessica. She works two jobs and is going to school for Speech Language Pathology and still finds time to maintain a blog. She has been such an inspiration to me and her posts were what really turned everything around for me. She talked about slowing down, living in the present, taking time for yourself and so much more that really hit home. Those were the exact things I needed to do. Not only were her posts making sense but also the books she was reading really hammered everything home. I usually don’t sit still long enough to read books but after reading her blog I finished three books in about two weeks. Clearly she was making an impact so this post wouldn’t be complete without mentioning her.
I started blogging in hopes that I could help someone. Well I am struggling already because I feel like I’m failing to reach anyone even though I just started. I know deep down it is going to take time for people to find their way here but I guess I am just impatient. So I felt like now was the perfect time to explain a little bit about my journey to reconnecting with my faith.
I remember reading blog after blog talking about faith. I thought, “What a load of crap? Is it a requirement to discuss God on your blog? Is that the only way to get people to read your blog? Maybe God only made blogs successful if they talked about faith.” I know how ridiculous that sounds but that is what happens when you lose faith. What I didn’t realize was that those blogs were successful because they had faith. They had faith that God would help them through and they were willing to make the leaps they needed to be successful because they knew God would be there to catch them if they failed.
I am working on having that same faith. That is what gave me the courage to start this blog and it is what will keep me writing even if I don’t have a lot of followers. I have not always had that faith and at one point I pushed it away completely. I have always believed in God but I lost faith in him. I felt like he left me all alone to deal with life but what I didn’t realize was that He hadn’t left me…I had left him.
I know part of what pushed me away was seeing so many people who claimed to be Christians not acting how I expected a Christian to behave. I’ve mentioned it in a previous post that my Grandmother was the true embodiment of a Christian but I’ve also had a lot of bad examples in my life.
I felt like a lot of people who went to Church only did so, so they could have an excuse to be sinful. I knew so many people who would sin all week and then go to Church on Sunday and act like all was forgiven and then start over the next week. To me this is not what God wanted. I know the bible says that God washes away our sins but I don’t think that gives us the right to be mean, hateful and generally just bad people. That just means that He understands we are not perfect and that if we slip up He is still there for us. He isn’t going to abandon us because we made a bad choice. A Christian should love and care for everyone regardless of religion, race, sexuality, gender or anything else that makes them different. Everyone on this Earth was created by God as equals. No one person is better than another. But seeing these poor examples of Christians made me doubt my faith.
Another part of what pushed me away was that I’ve spent so much time worrying about what others have and not being grateful for what I have been given. I kept thinking, “Why does God love them more? Why does He hand them everything and make me work so hard for it?” There were two big things I did not realize or did not want to see. Their lives were not always as great as they made them seem and the reason they had the things they had were because they had the faith to push for them.
Most people only share the good parts of their lives on social media so it seems like they have everything. But while they might share their big houses, new cars or exotic vacations they don’t share what makes their life challenging. They want people to believe they live these amazing lives free of any hardships because sometimes it isn’t easy to share the difficult parts of life.
Everyone has their own difficulties and hardships. What sets us apart is our faith and how we choose to handle those situations. I’ve learned that if I have faith my way of thinking changes and I generally get better outcomes. It wasn’t God making things tough, it was me not listening.
I’ve learned to be grateful. We have rough times too but it is all a matter of perspective. We have times where we struggle a little financially but honestly that is our own fault. That isn’t God’s fault. We chose to spend money we shouldn’t have or we didn’t save enough. Normally, I would get mad at God and think, “Why me?” Now I see that I was given the money I needed but it was our poor decisions that put us in that situation. I should be thankful that we have the money we have and that we can get ourselves out of that situation by simply changing our way of thinking. I should be thankful that my kids are healthy and I can provide them with everything they need.
Instead of getting frustrated over trying to make dinner with a screaming child at my feet I should be thankful that we have food on the table every night. Instead of getting mad that we don’t have a huge, beautiful home I should be grateful that we have the house we do let alone being grateful we even have a roof over our heads. Instead of wishing I had kids that would act like perfect angels while we are out in public I should be grateful that we were blessed with two beautiful, amazing, mostly healthy kids.
It is all a matter of perspective. I am sure there are people out there that would be more than grateful to have our house so who am I to say it isn’t good enough? I know people who have struggled with having their own kids and I’m sure a lot of us know someone who may not know where their next meal is coming from. I am learning to change my way of thinking and to have faith in God. It will always be a learning process but I am open to it now.
You have to work hard and have faith that things will work out in the end. God is not handing things out. He is only there to catch you if you fall. So if you want something you have to go for it and have faith that you will land safely no matter the outcome. Someday, hopefully, I will make a difference in someone’s life because I feel like that is what God wants for me.
Questions for you:
- Have you ever lost faith?
- Who has been an inspiration to you?
- What are you grateful for?